


Secret Love Story

by GameForDays



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 11:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11713482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GameForDays/pseuds/GameForDays
Summary: Loosely based off of "Secret Love Song, Pt. II" by Little Mix





	1. Part 1

How did it become so complicated? Before it was so simple. Well...as simple as sneaking around behind your friends and the entire school could get. Now it was just one big mess. In this web of chaos and lies, Tobin was reminded exactly why decided it would be best to not get emotionally attached to anyone in the first place.

No it wasn't because she had her heart broken, or because of some other traumatic experience. She just _didn't_ want to deal with love or anything related to it. It was time consuming, confusing, and would inevitably bring pain at one point or another. At least that's what she told herself before she met Alex Morgan. Before Alex Morgan, none of it even seemed worth it.

They started out as a one night stand. I mean they were in college for crying out loud, one night stands happened all the time. They were also attending the University of North Carolina, party central. There was never a weekend that went by without someone throwing a party and no one remembering what happened the next day.

Tobin was there because a (not so) small get together was being thrown by her very good friend Hope Solo. Though Hope was a senior and she herself was  sophomore, she had been a family friend for almost fifteen years and the two were very close. Hope was trying to court a freckled ray of sunshine named Kelley O'Hara and that's where Alex came in. They had met through being mutual friends of the short sorority girl.

Of course she had heard of the famous Alex Morgan before. Prior to college she was an All-American high school volleyball player. Upon entering UNC she had earned on starting spot on the team as a freshman. Not only was she an incredible volleyball player, but she was track star too, breaking many of the school's records.

Surprisingly though, what really made her so well known on the campus was how genuine and kind she was. The girl was involved in many organizations and made it a point to know dozens of names even at a school of nearly thirty thousand people.

That and she was extremely attractive. Or so she had heard. Before the party they had never crossed paths. Tobin wasn't big on social media and was usually in her head so she'd never paid attention to all the walls with the other athlete's face plastered on them. She still had ears though. And with having plenty of male friends, she knew for a fact that Alex had the nicest ass on campus.

When she had finally gotten the chance to meet the girl she was taken aback. People were using all the wrong adjectives to describe Alex Morgan. She had always heard smoking and hot. But no, Alex Morgan was drop dead gorgeous. Beautiful. Stunning. A goddess.

The first thing she noticed were her beautiful electric blue eyes. They seemed to light up Hope's dimly lit apartment all by themselves. The next thing she noticed were a two rows of straight, pearly white teeth sparkling through a set of plump pink lips.

And when she was given her back, she completely agreed that yes, Alex Morgan _did_ indeed the nicest ass in the entire school. In the entire state of North Carolina probably.

Introductions were brief and one-sided. Kelley had slurred out their names to each other, already having been completely drunk when Alex had arrived. Tobin wasn't listening anyway. _No one_ had to tell her who the girl was now. Her image was ingrained in her memory. When their hands came in contact and their eyes met, Tobin was instantly lost and her mind was clouded not by the beer she had gotten halfway through earlier, but inappropriate thoughts of all the things she wanted to do to Alex in that instant.

"Its nice to finally meet you Miss Heath," Alex had rasped out with a small smirk playing on her lips. Tobin had never heard anything sexier.

"The pleasure is _all_ mine," she replied, internally cringing at how thirsty she sounded. The volleyball/track star didn't seem to mind though. She simply winked and went off to go make herself a drink. Tobin watched her all the way to the kitchen, biting her lip as she did so. Black was such a good color on Alex.

Her plan that night had been to get enough liquid courage in her to strike up a conversation. Somehow her ass got glued (not literally but it had happened before...long story) to Hope's leather couch and she could only muster up was blatant, inappropriate staring. She couldn't help it. 

Alex had caught her several times but now she was too drunk to care. And so was everyone else. At this point there wasn't a sober person in Hope's apartment, including the host herself. That's when the volleyball/track star saw her window. The brunette sauntered over to Tobin and lowered herself onto her lap, sitting sideways on the girls thighs. She whispered something into the soccer player's ear, who responded with lopsided grin, and then dragged the girl upstairs.

The rest is history.

Of course, their relationship wasn't _completely_ sexual. They had actually enjoyed each other's company in an atmosphere that wasn't clouded in lust.

Tobin and Alex hung out like normal friends that had known each other for years. They were best friends. Best friends with benefits. And no one suspected a thing. They went to the movies like normal friends, got lunch like normal friends, played an extremely competitive version of monopoly deal like normal friends, and even had sleepovers (that didn't end in sex) like normal friends. To anyone on the outside looking in, they were two student athletes with a bond like no other. Sex didn't seem to complicate anything at all.

The soccer player was so caught up in the joy of Alex's company that she didn't notice the little things. Like how they only acted like a couple when they were in either Tobin's or Alex's dorm. Or how the volleyball/track star discretely shrugged off the soccer player's arm as it casually found its way around her shoulders when they were with friends. The light-haired girl was only allowed to hold the brunette's hand on certain occasions which all happened to be dark and when the two were alone.

It wasn't until they were almost caught by Alex's roommate Christen that Tobin was truly aware what was going on.

_"No marks Toby."_

_"No promises Lex," Tobin replied as she pinned the other girl roughly against the wall. She started attacking her neck mercilessly, nipping, sucking, licking. Alex moaned, but not in protest. The brunette threw her head back in ecstasy, clutching onto Tobin's shoulders for dear life._

_The light-haired girl suddenly picked her up without warning and threw the girl onto her bed. Alex took her shirt off without being told to, both of them knowing what was about to happen. Tobin followed suit and then climbed in between her legs, bringing their lips together once again._

_Only one of them heard a key go into the lock of the dorm door. Alex's eyes widened as she gasped. Tobin found herself on the ground in the next moment, completely confused and flustered. Her t-shirt was being shoved into her arms and then she herself was being shoved into a closet._

_"Hey Babyhorse," the caramel skinned girl greeted. "How's-woah are you okay?"_

_The blue-eyed girl put on a giant fake smile, nodding her head rapidly. "Yup, never better," she answered, her voice three octaves higher than usual._

_"You look...flushed. And your hair is a mess."_

_"I uh...just went for a run," she told her, repeating the sentence again in her head to make sure that was a plausible lie. She nodded her head to herself.  "Anyways, how was your day?"_

_"Long and tiring," Christen huffed, letting go of  her teammates odd behavior. "I just want to shower and sleep."_

_"I heard that," Alex chuckled nervously._

_"I'll let you take the bathroom first since you're all sweaty and whatnot. I'll just lay down while I wa-"_

_"No!" The volleyball/track star exclaimed. The school's setter jumped in surprise. Even Tobin almost fell out of the closet at the sudden shriek. Alex's behavior was beyond weird and both of them, though one of them not knowing they were in the same room, were equally confused. "I mean...you can go first. I've got uh, things to handle before I can shower so...yeah."_

_"Right..." Christen agreed, afraid of getting yelled at again if she objected. "Okay well I'll only be fifteen or so." Alex let out a sigh of relief. She followed her teammates every movement as she went to grab clothes, her towel, and then head to their bathroom. Just when the blue eyed girl thought she was in the clear, Christen threw out a "nice hickey by the way," causing Alex to turn beet red and clutch her neck._

_Once she had heard the water running the Christen step in, she pulled the soccer player out back into the open._

_"I told you no marks Tobin."_

_"You threw me in a closet, I'd say we are even. What the hell was that?"_

_"Open your eyes Tobin, Christen almost caught us!"_

_"So?" Tobin asked, wondering why that was such a big deal. She watched the girl carefully, noticing how she had a rather distant expression on her face. She was fiddling with her hands, something that Tobin knew was a nervous habit of hers._

_The girl thought of all the possible reasons why Alex could be acting like this. Then it dawned on her..._

_"You're embarrassed to be with me."_

_"No that's not it. It's just that...I'm not- I can't..." she paused. "We can't be seen together in that way Tobin. I'm not gay."_

_"What do you mean you're not gay? You were pretty gay all those times we had sex Alex."_

_"I just can't be with you Tobin. This..us...it was never serious anyway. You're just a college experiment."_

_Tobin was taken aback. Hurt was evident in her eyes. "An experiment?" she husked out. "Look, I mean I know I never like, officially asked you out or anything, but I thought that you and I were...a thing at least. I haven't been seeing anyone else, but you. I thought...I thought what we had was just fluid you know? We didn't have to define anything."_

_"I'm sorry Tobin."_

_"Sorry for what? For leading me on and playing with my emotions?  Yeah no, save your apology. I'm out of here."_

_The soccer player stormed out of the room, leaving all of her belongings in the room and not caring what she had left. The door slammed so loud, it shook the room. Alex choked out of sob, wanting to take back everything she had said but knowing it was too late. She had never meant to hurt Tobin. The girl was so mellow about everything, she honestly didn't think it would affect her that much. Boy was she wrong._

That nearly a month ago.

A month since they had even looked or spoken one word to each other. And everyone around them noticed as well. Their friends no longer invited the two of them to things at the same time. If they did happen to be in the same area, the group was immediately divided. They didn't want to do it, but weren't sure how else to handle things.

Alex wouldn't open up.

Tobin wouldn't open up.

It was a mess.

When Tobin's childhood best friend Servando transferred to UNC (he had ended up losing his soccer scholarship at UC Berkeley), she thought things were finally looking up for her. He was good distraction and for a while, she had almost forgotten about the blue-eyed brunette. She and the boy were messing around, getting in trouble just like old times, and to be honest she was having more fun than when her and Alex were hanging out.

That was until Servando had gotten a girlfriend. 

As far as she knew, Tobin had never met her. Servando had never said her name, he only talked about her with pure love in his eyes. He was always going on and on about her hair and her eyes and her smile and how funny and down to earth she was and the soccer player, though slightly annoyed and jealous that her best friend officially had a new girl in his life, couldn't help but be happy for him.

"Tobin?" he spoke up as they were playing Xbox in her dorm.

"Sup..." she mumbled distractedly as she repeatedly pressing what she thought was the button to shoot. She groaned when she realized she hadn't been pressing 'B' at all, but 'X', which was the button to lob pass. The ball soared over the goal. She paused. "Alright what is it?"

"I want you to meet my girlfriend..." he said slowly, unsure of how she'd react. Tobin had already expressed how this mystery girl was stealing her best friend, so he didn't know if it was a good idea or not. 

"Sure why not? I'd love to meet my competition."

"Tobs, come on, you know she's not competition. No one could ever replace my best friend."

"I'm joking Serv," she smiled slightly at him. It wouldn't be right to act like a bitch when obviously the boy was head over heels for this girl. "Just say when, and we can all hang out sometime. I promise to behave."

His face broke out into a large smile. "Great! How's tomorrow? You can even pick the restaurant and then we can got to the movies or something."

In Tobin's mind it sounded more like she was being invited to a date and she going to be hardcore third-wheeling, but nodded anyway. "How can I resist an offer like that?"

Thirty minutes later, Servando said he had to get back to his place to study. As he was halfway out the door, he threw back a smile over his shoulder. "I really think you'll like her Tobin. I really hope you two get along cause you're both very important to me."

"Don't worry about it Serv," she waved off. "What's the worst possible thing that could happen?"

[. . .]

Tobin and Servando stood at the entrance of Dave and Busters, Tobin's obvious choice for a night out with her childhood best friend and his girlfriend. The soccer player only hoped that she wasn't some uptight, Type A girly girl that didn't know how to have fun.

The young male stood beside her, biting his nails, nearly shaking in his sneakers. She didn't know what he could have been so worried about, but then again he worried over everything.

"Relax bro, you're starting to stress me out. Everything will be cool alright?"

"Yeah I know, I don't know why I'm like this. I guess cause I've never been this serious about someone and I want you two to get along."

"I get that, I swear I do. What's her name again?" She looked at him expectantly, but his focus was already on something far off into the parking lot. The smile on his face grew, his eyes lighting up, and Tobin knew that the girl had finally shown up.

She followed his gaze, putting on a friendly smile for when she finally came into her view. 

"Alex!" he called out happily. Her smile faded almost instantly.

The girl that she hadn't spoken to in God knows how long was walking towards them, putting on a fake smile that Tobin hadn't even bothered to try to muster up. Her jaw slacked, her eyes fixed on the bright blue ones staring right back at her. Servando didn't even pick up on the tension as she finally made it to stand directly in front of them.

Tobin thought she was even more beautiful than she had remembered. Alex's skin seemed tanner, her hair seemed longer, her eyes bluer. In the short jean shorts that the volleyball/track star had sported, she made note of how her legs were sexier than ever.

"Fuck," she whispered to herself, cringing as she watched her ex-whatever Alex was kiss her best friend. She took note of how eyes never closed and continued to stare in her direction. Either to taunt her or because she was just as shocked. It hurt either way.

"Tobin, this is my girlfriend Alex. Babe, this is my best friend since birth, Tobin."

They had a choice to make then. They could inform Servando that they were exes in one fashion or another, or they could lie to his face. Tobin's eyes darted from Alex's crystal blue ones to her childhood best friend's brown ones. The other girl did the same, taking a quick glance at her boyfriend.

The two both recognized the look. The hopeful, innocent, excited one. He nodded encouragingly to the both of them.

Decision made.

"It's nice to meet you, Toby," Alex greeted and then froze. _Caught._

"Tobin," Servando corrected. "She doesn't let anyone call her Toby, not even me. In fact, I think her nana is the only one she allows to call her that," the male said thoughtfully. _Not caught._

A look crossed over the brunette's face briefly, but was virtually unrecognizable. "My apologies."

"It's alright," the light-haired girl's voice cracked. She cleared her throat. "It's nice to meet you...for the first time ever in my life." 

If looks could kill. Tobin felt holes being burned into the side of her face, as she had many times before, being friends with Alex. Luckily for the both of them, Servando was oblivious.

"What a joker, this one," he laughed. "You guys ready to go inside?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Tobin mumbled.

 


	2. Part 2

The tension at their booth could be cut with a knife, but Alex and Tobin seemed to be the only ones that noticed. Or maybe it was just enhanced to them because of how anxious they both were. Servando didn't seem to mind doing most of the talking, which both were grateful for. He had managed to make it through both of their stories, he and Tobin's childhood, and how he and Alex had met, without either of them saying a word. Very few times the girls would nod or chuckle just to prove they were paying attention.

Tobin wanted to lie and say that she was fine seeing them together but she wasn't. Servando had his arm slung tightly around Alex's shoulder, a gesture that used to only be reserved for her. The most heartbreaking thing was that the volleyball/track star looked happy. Or so she thought. Yes she was distant and on edge for obvious reasons, but she still looked happy. And gosh Servando. He was lit up like a Christmas tree.

One thing was clear: she was in the way.

"Man that food was good," he sighed happily, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "Okay I'm going to hit the little boys room then how about afterwards I kick your ass in air hockey eh Tobs?" Servando smirked.

"You wish you could come close to beating me," she smirked back, watching as he stood up and made his way towards the restrooms.

She turned back to Alex, who was looking down at her lap.

Silence.

"You know kicking me to the curb and dating my best friend is a pretty shitty thing to do." Her petty side was coming out. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was still hurt.

"I didn't know." the girl whispered. In all the chatter and shuffling around them, it almost went unheard, but the soccer player knew exactly what she said.

In all the time she had known Alex, she had never lied. Not once. Tobin believed her. It wasn't like they crossed paths anymore. Servando never mentioned Alex's name so she assumed the blue eyed girl was given the same treatment with her.

"I'm sorry."

"For?" She wanted her to say it out loud. Own up to all the pain she had caused the soccer player.

"For everything." It was vague, but Tobin understood. Sorry for spazzing out, sorry for the harsh words, sorry dating your best friend. Everything. Her tone of voice made the soccer player's facial features soften. It always hurt her to see Alex like this, even if she herself was hurting.

The girl in front of her couldn't even bring her face up to look at her.

"It's okay," she found herself saying.

"But it's not...Tobin I-"

"Let's just move past it. For Serv. He wants us to get along more than anything and...he's so happy with you. So let's do this for him."

Before Alex could say anything else, Servando was making his way back to the table.

"Who's ready for games?" he grinned.

Tobin snuck a glance at the other girl before turning to her best friend with a wicked grin. "Prepare to have your ass thoroughly kicked."

[. . .]

She did in fact kick Servando's ass in air hockey. As well as a sharp shooter game and Dance Dance Revolution. Despite Alex's competitive nature, she mostly sat back and watched the two in amusement.

"Dammit!" Tobin cursed when Servando had beaten her in a motorcycle racing game. A nearby mother gasped, covering her child's ears from the crude language.

"Yes!" He cheered, throwing his arms in the air.

"You used cheat codes!"

"Tobin it's an arcade, you can't use cheat codes."

"Well you did something. You never beat me in anything," she groaned.

"Sore loser." Tobin scoffed. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Alex smiled. She found herself smiling as well.

"Hey babe you haven't played any games the whole time. Why don't you go play some with Tobin? I gonna go give Deal or No Deal a try."

Before either of them could tell him it was a bad idea, he was gone. They knew what he was doing. He was trying to get them to bond. The boy was insistent on them being best friends. If only he had known. Maybe he did sense the tension, but they doubted it was because he knew of their history. He probably assumed they were being awkward cause they just met.

"So um do you wanna-"

"What should we-"

They stopped, before chuckling and going quiet again.

"Basketball?"

"Okay," Alex rasped out.

Tobin lead them over to the basketball area where there was a machine with a row of four goals set up. The soccer player slid her card in both of their stations. Upon the balls being released, she hurriedly grabbed them rapidly, shooting expertly and making her first three shots. The rest following were either makes or not far off.

Alex on the other hand was struggling. Every ball she shot either didn't reach the rim, ricocheted off the side cages, or bounced aggressively off the backboard.

The light-haired girl ended up stopping with 15 seconds left on the game clock to clutch her stomach and laugh.

"Maybe if you spike it, you'll make a shot," she cackled, all the previous tension leaving them completely. Despite being utterly embarrassed and sore, Alex let out a small giggle.

"Jerk."

"Guilty."

"Help me," she pouted. _Fuck,_ Tobin cursed in her head, _I've never been able to resist that face._

"Okay okay..."

She took Alex's play card from her hand and swiped it. The ball released once again and she grabbed one, handing it to the slightly shorter girl.

"Place your left hand on the side of the ball and your right underneath it." The volleyball/track star did as she was told, inexpertly holding the orange ball between her delicate hands. "Good now like your elbow up straight and shoot." The blue-eyed girl chucked up a shot that didn't look much better than what she had done before.

"Tobin, its not working," she whined.

"No no, I said line up your elbow. And be fluid with it. Like this," the honey-eyed girl demonstrated, easily sinking a shot. Without thinking, she moved behind Alex with a ball in her hands and moved the girls arms and hands around until she had the correct form. "90 degree angle," she whispered in her ear, as she was so close to there was no need to even be talking at normal volume. "Aim. And shoot," she breathed, going through the motions with her. 

The small orange ball hit off the backboard and went through the net.

"I did it!" Alex exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Tobin's neck while jumping up and down. She attracted the attention of damn near half of the establishment but she didn't care. The soccer player blushed deeply at the action but wrapped her arms around Alex's small waist anyway. Man she missed this.

"Congrats Lex." The nickname seemed to remind the volleyball/track star of where she was and who she was with. As if she had been burned, she immediately stepped back, her hands moving to clasp together behind her back.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Don't worry about it." The awkwardness was back full force again. She glanced at her wrist, pretending to check her watch. "It's getting late. Lets go find Serv, yeah?"

"Okay."

Ten minutes later, the three were walking out of the arcade, Servando and Alex hand in hand with Tobin following awkwardly behind. Now that she thought about it, she should have walked out first so she didn't have to witness them being all lovey dovey. That and Alex's ass was a major distraction. If she wasn't careful she'd get caught.

"Well I had fun, how about you ladies?"

"So did I," the volleyball/track star smiled genuinely.

"Yeah it was great," Tobin agreed.

"We should do it again sometime, yeah?"

As much as she loved Servando and missed Alex, she wouldn't survive another night with them. She wasn't going to put herself through that torture.

"I don't know. I mean I'd like to...but I've got training and- uh exams to study for. You know," the honey-eyed girl said lamely. Servando didn't bother to hide the disappointment on his face, but otherwise didn't seem to catch on to her white lie. Alex clearly did though. She looked guilty, refusing to make eye contact. Tobin found some satisfaction in that.

"I understand. Just hit me up okay?"

"Definitely. Later guys."

The soccer player bolted out into the parking lot before she had to look at either one of them again.

[. . .]

"Alex?" Servando asked as they sat in his dorm room.

"What's up?" she asked back, looking up from her Honors Government notes.

"I think Tobin is avoiding me..."

Her eyes widened because she knew that was true. After the night at Dave and Busters Tobin still hung out with them, much of that due to Servando's begging, but after a while, she starting coming up with excuses not to hang out with them. For as long as the boy and girl had known each other, she was surprised her boyfriend couldn't tell when Tobin was lying.

Though the reason for Tobin's absence was obvious to Alex, she chose not to disclose that she, in fact, was the reason from her disappearance. Instead she asked, "What makes you think that?"

"She never answers my texts anymore. She reads my texts, but doesn't reply. Sometimes I'll see her, we'll make eye contact, and she'll turn the other way. Did I do something wrong?"

Alex could tell this was really eating Servando up and she wasn't exactly sure what to do. She definitely didn't want to become the reason that they stopped being best friends. Tobin and Servando had longevity. She and Servando had...a few months.

"I don't think you did anything wrong Serv," she said gently, rubbing his back.

"I miss her Alex. She's my best friend," he said sadly.

The even sadder thing was that Alex did too. She had gotten use to Tobin ignoring her before she started dating Servando, but then she started getting use to the soccer player being around again. Now she felt just as empty as when they stopped being friends.

"I'll talk to her," she blurted out before she could stop herself. As she contemplated retracting her statement, he gave her a hopeful look. _Shit_ she cursed mentally.

"You'd do that?" He asked in awe.

"I mean..." She struggled with her words. Damn her for not being able to keep her mouth shut. She was the reason Tobin was even avoiding Servando. No way in hell she wanted to see Alex. "Maybe she's just going through some things?"

"Could you just ask her why I haven't seen her lately so I can try to fix it? I'd love you forever Alex." Blue eyes widened and the brunette gulped audibly. She couldn't tell how seriously he took the L word but she knew he was definitely seriously about his statement. His friendship with Tobin meant _that_ much to him. They'd never discussed the topic of love, but Alex knew she liked Servando a lot. The problem was she never stopped liking Tobin.

"I guess I could try to track her down for a quick conversation?"

"Thank you, thank you so much!" He threw his arms around her and peppered her face with kisses. "I owe you baby."

The volleyball player forced a smile and nodded, wondering how in the hell she was supposed to accomplish such a feat.

 


	3. Part 3

"TOOOOBIIIIIIIN" The soccer player heard point-three seconds before being tackled to the soft grass next to her. She lifted her head up to see none other than Kelley O'Hara on top of her. The freckled girl was grinning maniacally down at her.

The tan girl groaned and let her head fall back down. Rolling it to the side, she saw her iced chai latte from Starbucks seeping into the dirt. The drink was supposed to wake up her, but it looked like Kelley had taken that role.

A few students walked by them, only semi-curious as to what was going on. It was rather early, nearing 9:20. Only a fraction of the campus was awake and of that small portion, even even smaller fraction was actually aware of their surroundings. How Kelley could be so chipper and happy was beyond her. 

"Why?"

The shorter girl shrugged. "Don't know. I saw you and got excited. Its been a minute! Where have you been hiding?"

In the midst of avoiding Alex and Servando at all costs, she'd sort of shut out the rest of her friends as well. Her phone had been on _Do Not Disturb_ for several weeks now. She'd even turned off her read receipts so it looked like she wasn't getting their messages. 

Truth be told she needed to think. And she couldn't be around her friends to do that. They had no idea what was going on. She was friends with them and she was friends with Servando, but Servando and her friends didn't know each other. She'd spoken briefly of him but they'd never met. Tobin had no idea what Alex had told them, but from what she had heard, she wasn't hanging around like she used to. The point was, they wouldn't understand.

"I've been busy Kells. Sorry."

"Busy with what?" she pressed on. "All you do is eat, sleep, and play soccer."

"I'll have you know I'm much more complex than that, thank you," Tobin joked, trying to curve the conversation away from the reason of her absence. 

"Tobs, you're as complex as a shoelace," The hazel eyed girl asserted as she lifted herself off the soccer player and helped her up.

"Didn't you struggle with tying your shoes until you were like, 15?"

"Beside the point. Come with me," the small girl demanded, clutching Tobin's left arm.

"Where? I have a 9:45 in Carroll Hall."

"Don't worry you won't be late. We're walking and talking. Now come," Kelley tugged slightly. Tobin didn't bother resisting. She just sighed, shoving her hands into her pockets, wishing she still had her Starbucks. The shit was entirely too expensive to be wasted like that. 

"You owe me for my drink."

"I'll buy you another when you actually decide to hang out with us again."

She felt bad. Honestly she felt like shit. She was avoiding her best friend Servando, her second best friend Hope. The soccer player had become so anti-social that she was even hurting poor Kelley, the vibrant bubbly girl who just wanted everyone to be happy and love squirrels just as much as she did. 

"Kelley-"

"No, Tobin," the sorority girl interrupted. "What's going on with you? You ignore all of us. You lie and say you're busy when we all know you're not. Whatever you're going through you know you don't have to do it alone right? We are your friends. "

"I know that. It's just complicated. Really fucking complicated. I needed some time to think and figure things out."

"And have you? Figured things out?"

"No. I'm just more confused than before."

"If you just told me what it was, maybe I could-" This time it was Tobin's turn to interrupt.

"I'm not ready. When the time is right, or if my back is against the wall I'll tell you guys everything. I promise. I just need more time."

Hazel eyes stared into caramel eyes for a long time as they walked, trying to decipher what emotions and thoughts were behind them. Kelley saw Tobin was torn but decided not to push.

"Okay," she nodded. "I hope you figure it out soon. I miss you. We all miss you."

The soccer player missed them too. A lot. More than she had realized until she saw Kelley after so many weeks. "I miss you guys too."

Looking up, Tobin saw her building in the distance. It was only 9:32. Even at the slow pace they were walking, she had plenty of time to get there. 

"Alex asked about you." Tobin stiffened slightly. "She asked if you'd talked to us lately. Apparently she's been trying to get in touch with you."

"Is that so?"

"And its funny because the last I checked, you two couldn't be in the same room for more than five seconds..."

"Its complicated." The freckled girl rolled her eyes.

"Right. Complicated. Everything is isn't it?"

"I'm sorry Kelley." She waved her hand, clearly not wanting to hear it. It was understandable. 

"You know she has a boyfriend now? And I had to find out through the grapevine. How sad is that? My own best friend. You better believe I gave her an earful when I saw her. I've never met him, but she says he's really good to her. I can't remember his name...Sebastian? Santiago? No. Sergio maybe? It was strange because it sounded really close to that childhood friend you told us about that one time. What was his name again?"

Tobin paled.

"Servando! Yeah Servando...."

Kelley looked over at her friend and saw that she looked nauseous. She wondered what could have made her this way in the last two minutes. Her eyebrows knitted together in concentration as she thought hard. They were now stopped in front of the mass communications building. 

Tobin watched her, feeling parts of her walls beginning to crumble as Kelley was clearly putting two and two together.

"It's him isn't it?" The soccer player nodded slowly. "I get it now."

"Get what?" Tobin sighed.

"I knew Tobin." She knew? But how? Was she implying what she thought she was? "I'm not oblivious. Alex would come over from hanging out with you with hickeys all over her neck, her make up ruined and smudged, glowing and grinning like an idiot. I know her better than anyone else. There's not much she can keep from me. Not to mention you acted like a couple. You two were clearly soulmates and not in the best friend term."

Cats out the bag.

Suddenly Tobin just has so much anger coursing through her. Her teeth grind and her fists clench.

"She told me I was just an experiment. That it didn't mean anything. Then I find out she's dating him," Tobin spilled, releasing some rage thats been bottled up for quite some time now. 

Her breathing becomes heavy, but she tries her best to keep her frustration, hurt, and every other emotion she's experienced over the past couple months at bay. She's shaking, something she hasn't done in a long time. She's usually so calm. Unfazed by anything that comes her way. Now she's the opposite of that. 

Kelley's arms wrap themselves around her in an instant.

Tobin doesn't cry. She's not a crier. Or she tries not to be. She especially doesn't do it in public. But as Kelley is hugging her, she squeezes back even tighter and closes her eyes. A single sniffle is heard. One that let the freckled girl realize truly how much Tobin has been suffering in silence.

"It'll be okay, I promise."

The soccer player pulls away, somewhat relieved she was able to bring some feelings to the surface. It felt nice knowing someone knew. After all this time, someone knew.

"Thanks smalls," Tobin cracked a smile. She checked her apple watch. It was 9:41. "I better get inside." Kelley nodded.

"Your secret is safe with me. But if you need to talk about it, don't be a stranger yeah?" The soccer player agreed. The sorority girl reaches up and kisses her on her cheek. "I'll see you around."

"Kells?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let Alex know that you know...please."

"I won't."

[. . .]

It's Sunday. This day is usually used for homework and relaxing but Tobin still had a lot of anger to release. And what better way to do it, than in the gym. Her coach had given them the day off for some odd reason but she wasn't complaining.

Anyhow, she had gotten up bright and early at 5:45 and taken a jog around campus. After about an hour of that, she went to the student athlete training facility. 

She was pushing herself a lot harder than she probably should have but she couldn't help it. She was in the zone. Tobin was so in the zone that she didn't even notice a body standing over her while she was bench pressing. As she extended her arms to rack the barbell, she saw Alex standing over her.

The girl was wearing her UNC Nike running shorts and a fitted Nike tank top. Tobin was admittedly checking her out, something she definitely wasn't supposed to be doing since the girl was dating her best friend. She could never control herself around the blue-eyed girl. Alex was her weakness, plain and simple.

"What do you want?" She asked as passively as she could. It came out more like a groan or snide remark towards the girl. As much as she was still hurt, the last thing she wanted to do was channel all her energy and take her anger out on Alex...though she believed she had every right to.

"We need to talk." Tobin walked over to the Lat Pull Down machine. Alex followed.

"Isn't that what we are doing right now?"

"I meant somewhere else. And when I have your undivided attention."

"I'm listening. Whatever you have to say, say it now because you might not get another chance."

The volleyball/track star put her hand on the weights, successfully disabling Tobin from pulling the bar down. "Tobin."

"What?" she spat.

"Please..." Alex said in a voice barely above a whisper. Tobin cursed in her head. That damn voice. Those damn eyes. Every fucking time, they got what they wanted. Her face softened.

"Meet me in my dorm in an hour okay. I need to finish my workout and shower." The brunette nodded thankfully. She walked away without another word.

An hour later Alex Morgan stood in front of Tobin Heath's door. She found herself checking her appearance and then rolling her eyes once she realized how stupid it was. She was here for one purpose and one purpose only: to tell the soccer player to quit avoiding Servando.

The blue-eyed girl knocked twice and separated herself from the door, rocking back and forth on her heels. She heard some shuffling and muffled curse words on the other side of the door. In the moment after, the door was flung open.

Tobin stood in nothing but a sports bra and UNC shorts. It wasn't uncommon for Tobin to be half dressed, but Alex certainly expected the honey-eyed girl to at least have a shirt on when they met.

"I just got out," the soccer player said in an apologetic tone, though it was pretty obvious. In the midst of letting the volleyball/track star in, she was in the process of drying her hair. Once she had finally finished getting dressed, Tobin faced Alex properly. "Well?"

The brunette stood awkwardly in the middle of the room while Tobin said comfortably at her desk chair. Moments passed of silence, Alex losing her words and Tobin losing her patience.

"You can sit down you know. Don't act like you haven't been in here before," she chimed irritably. 

And that was the problem. Alex had been in this room too many times to count. Flashbacks played through her mind of her and Tobin. Her and Tobin laughing. Her and Tobin wrapped up in each other's arms. Her and Tobin talking of hours on end about nothing. Her and Tobin...she shook her head, trying to erase the thoughts.

Slowly, Alex made her way to Tobin's bed , placing herself lightly on the scattered sheets. A look passed over both of their faces, each of them registering the same things in their minds.

"Servando misses you. You're his best friend and you've been avoiding him like the plague."

"And who's fault is that I wonder?"

"It's a shitty situation yes but honestly Tobin you need to grow up and be an adult about this. I didn't know."

"I need to grow up? That's rich Alex, coming from the girl who played with my emotions."

"What do you want from me Tobin? What do you want to say? I'm sorry okay! This isn't even about you and I alright. Its about Servando." Tobin didn't comment. She just sat with a scowl on her face. "You need to talk to him. He just wants to see you." Her face softened.

"I want to."

"Good," Alex sighed in relief.

"But I can't. I can't look at him. I can't talk to him. I can't pretend like seeing you two together isn't eating me alive," the soccer player admitted. The blue-eyed girl remained silent. "You can pretend we never happened, date him, fuck him when you're lonely, and go on about with your happy life, but in the end I've got no one. You were my best friend, but you left. He was my best friend and then you went and stole him from me. As long and you two are together I can't be friends with him anymore. I won't do it."

"What am I supposed to sell him then?" Alex asked weakly, feeling herself getting nauseous.

"Tell him the truth or tell him to forget about me," Tobin shrugged.

"You know we can't tell him the truth."

"Then I guess you have your answer. I think its time for you to go now."

"Tobin."

"Alex," she challenged.

"Fine. Be that way," the brunette huffed. She ambled towards the door, but didn't make a move to open it. Tobin wanted her softly lean her head against the door. She frowned, wondering what she was doing. "By the way...I lied."

And with that she left.

The soccer player was confused. Lied about what?


	4. Part 4

Servando was hurt and disappointed. He couldn't remember last time he had spoken to Tobin, or even seen her. It was making him sick to the stomach. She was the reason he even came to this school. He thought the move would reignite their friendship, not ruin it. Things just haven't been the same since he and Alex got together.

Speaking of the latter, she'd been avoiding him too. And the times that they were together, she couldn't even look him in the eye. The only two people he deeply cared about were treating him like a disease.

"Servando you good?" One of his buddies asked. They'd met during the last season of intramural soccer, indirectly through Tobin. The pale skinned ginger was a Sports Management major and IM official, who had to work with some of the sports teams for his practicum. One of those sports was women's soccer where he met Tobin, who informed him that her best friend was playing on an IM team, in a league in which he was also in.

"I think you already know the answer to that," he said glumly.

"Alex and Tobin still aren't talking to you?"

"Nope." He'd lost count of how many times he'd been avoided like the plague.

"I'm sorry, man."

"Maybe they're screwing around again," his other friend Joel snickered. Joel, a fellow Sports Management major, was friends with Issac before he met Servando. The ginger introduced them both and pretty soon they were three musketeers. Besides Tobin, they were his two closest friends.

"Dude," Issac scolded.

"What? We both know it could be true."

"What are you talking about?" the Latino boy asked.

His two friends looked at each other, then looked back at him. It became apparent to the both of them that Servando had no idea about Alex and Tobin's past. Now they'd just complicated things tenfold. 

"Someone better start explaining things to me right now, or I swear to god..." 

"It's not our place to tell."

"Fuck it I'm telling him. He deserves to know Issac."

"Know what?"

[. . .]

After talking with Tobin, Alex makes her way to Servando's dorm. Admittedly, she took her time getting there. In her mind, she thought of a thousand ways to break the news to him, but none of them sounded right. She even considered breaking up with him so he and Tobin could save their friendship, but she couldn't bear to see his heart break at her hands.

So much about this was just so _unfair_ and _fucked_. And she knows she's being selfish. Tobin and Servando were both incredible people, but she couldn't have them both.

Servando was the perfect boyfriend. He was patient and kind. He treated her like a princess. He never did _anything_ wrong. She could spend the rest of her life with him just for those reasons. But she'd also spend the rest of her life lying to herself and trying to love him the way he loved her. She loved him. Just not in that way. Not anymore.

Then there's Tobin, who made her heart soar. Sometimes the girl made her want to rip her hair out. Other times she wondered how she didn't punch her in the face. Then other times the girl made her laugh until her lungs ached and she couldn't breathe. And when she was lost and hurting, confused, or just in a mood, Tobin gave her clarity and comfort.

Neither one of them deserved what she was putting them through.

Sighing to herself, she started to knock on his door, but instead of her fist making contact with wood, it just swung through the air and fell limp at her side. Two of his friends, Issac and Joel were just leaving. They gave her a look that she couldn't quite decipher.

"Hey guys," she waved politely.

"Uh, hey Alex," Issac murmured softly.

"Sup," Joel nodded indifferently. He looked over his shoulder at Servando and gave him a look.

She steps past them to go inside. "Hey babe," she greets her boyfriend, who turns his face when she tries to kiss him. She frowns, but pecks his cheek anyway. "Serv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He slides past her and sits on his futon. She follows and sits next to him.

Alex becomes unbelievably nervous. Servando has never been cold her, not even on his worst days. So many thoughts were running through her head. What could he know? He could not know anything, but there's just this look in his eyes that says that he _has_ to know.

"I talked to Tobin..." she started slowly. His head snaps towards her so fast that it almost gave her whiplash. There's something in his eyes. Some type of anger. And hurt that's been present for weeks. Just as quickly as he shot daggers towards her, he's looking back down at his lap with a frown on his face.

"I bet you did," he growls under his breath, probably thinking she couldn't hear him, but she did.

"Tobin, she...she said she's going through some things right now and it would be best if you forgot about her. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry or she's sorry?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

They sat in silence and Alex didn't know what to do. He was obviously keeping something from her. She didn't want to pry and make him more upset. She has an idea anyway. Every attempt at affection of any kind was deflected. It was beginning to break her heart.

"You should go."

"But I just got here?"

"I know. And now you should leave." Without argument, the volleyball player got up and headed to the door. Tears threatened to spill over but she refused to let them fall. "Alex," Servando called to her.

She sniffled, not turning around. "Yes?"

"I don't mean to make you upset, I just need some time to myself for a few days okay? I'm sorry."

"Are you mad at me?"

For the first time all day, he actually smiled. It didn't reach his ears or eyes, but it was a smile. A sad one. His girlfriend didn't see it though, cause she still had her head down with her back turned. "I couldn't be mad at you if I tried, Alex."

She nodded. "I love you, Servando."

"I know."

[. . . ]

For the first time in forever, Tobin was starting to feel like herself again. She'd been hanging out with Kelley almost every chance she got. She still didn't have the courage to see their other friends, but being with one friend who knew her secret was better than being alone.

"Toby I'm bored," Kelley whined as she lied on her friend's bed. They were studying. Or they were supposed to be. Tobin was actually getting work done. She had a paper due in two days, and 3 exams in the next week. She couldn't afford to be lazy.

Kelley on the other hand had her schedule mostly free. And she'd been complaining for the last hour. During the day the freckled girl had already beaten the entire game of LEGO Star Wars, played Cards Against Humanity by herself, and eaten at least half of Tobin's snacks- which the latter did not appreciate.

"Tobs. Tobin. Toby. Toby Keith. Tobmeister. The Great Tobino. T-"

"Jesus fuck Kelley what!?"

"Don't yell at me bitch."

The tan girl sighed deeply, resting her head on her desk. Kelley was a five year old. A literal five year old.

"I'm sorry. What can I do for you Miss O'Hara?"

"Much better. I'm bored and hungry. Feed me."

As much as she needed to get her work done, Tobin was also starving herself. One hour mental and food break sounded pretty damn good after five straight hours of studying. 

"You know what? I need a break. Let's go."

"Yay!" 

Tobin put on her sneakers and hoodie while Kelley wiped the crumbs from her face and put on a shirt that wasn't covered in cheesy fingerprints. Grabbing their wallets and keys, they both headed to the door, but not before Kelley launched herself on Tobin's back.

"Again? Really? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were attracted to me," the chestnut haired girl joked.

"You wish. You know my type is tall, dark, and brooding."

The mid-fielder reached for the door, opening it. "Speaking of which, one of these days Hope is gonna see you throwing yourself at me and think-"

"-something is going on?"

In front of them stood the girl in question, tall as ever, cold green eyes staring at them with skepticism. Her arms were folded, which wasn't an uncommon pose for the goalkeeper. Tobin let Kelley fall to the ground as she grinned sheepishly.

The freckled girl glares at Tobin as she gets back on her feet. "Babe, nothing is going on. But you're so cute when you're jealous," she pecked her lips once. 

"If nothing is going on then why have you two spent every waking moment together?"

"Because Tobin needs a friend right now."

"She has friends," Hope glared at her menacingly. Behind her eyes, though very small, was a hint of hurt. "She just doesn't want them."

"That's not true," Tobin said weakly. Not in the mood to hang out with _anyone_ anymore, she tries to go back into her room.

Kelley puts a hand on her arm, preventing her to do so. She removes herself from Hope and steps towards her sad friend. The mid-fielder refuses to make eye contact. "Tobin, come on. You've known Hope longer than you've known me. I think you can tell her."

"Tell me what?" the black haired girl asked curiously.

She missed Hope. So she told her. It was in letting Hope in on the situation that she realized that just having one person know wasn't enough. The green eyed girl had been her friend for so long she wondered how she hadn't gone to her sooner. Her would never respond with anything other than sympathy and understanding.

"Damn."

"Yup. You can process everything later babe, but right now I'm fucking starving."

Tobin rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless. "Yeah lets go."

When they arrived at the restaurant it was nearly empty. Tobin had no complaints about that. Since it was self-seating establishment, Hope led them towards a booth by the window. As the evening rolled in, the sky turned into a pinkish orange. 

Halfway through eating her bacon cheeseburger Tobin felt eyes on her. By this time it was pretty dark outside, minus the glow coming from the street lights placed in the downtown area. She tried to scan the area but for the most part she only saw her reflection in the glass. This was the first time she'd taken a good look at herself in weeks. Her face had more worry lines than she recalled. There were also permanent bags under her eyes. Her hair was a mess but she hardly ever had it in order anyway.

[. . .]

"Tobin," Alex said urgently as she fell into step with her former best friend.

It was mid-day, moderately cloudy and windy. Most of everyone on campus minus a few were in class.

"Alex."

"We need to talk."

"We already had our talk remember? Or did that not mean anything to you either?" The volleyball player stops in her tracks and Tobin cursed under her breath. She knows what she said was unnecessary and that she hurt the younger girl's feelings. Turning back on her heel, she places herself in front of Alex, who looks twice as vulnerable as she did five seconds ago. "I'm sorry."

"Do you think I enjoyed hurting you? Or lying to Servando? Do you think I wanted you to lose your childhood best friend over me? I feel like shit all the time Tobin. I can hardly even look at him and my heart aches every time I'm near you. I don't. Need. You. Reminding me. Of what. I've. Done," the younger girl admitted angrily. Even with the aggravation laced in her voice, tears spilled onto her cheeks.

The soccer player doesn't know what compelled her to do it. Maybe its those eyes welled up with tears that's she's always had a weakness for. Maybe it's cause she misses Alex so fucking much that she can't bear to put up this act anymore. Either way, she opens her arms, inviting the love of her life in. "I'm sorry."

It doesn't take any encouragement for the track star to leap forward and bury her face in Tobin's chest. She sniffles loudly but keeps her sobs quiet. Just being in the soccer player's arms made her feel like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. The hole in her heart was closing up.

"It's okay," Tobin promised, instinctively placing a kiss on top of her head. Looking around, her eyes landed on the second of the two people that she'd been trying to avoid. 

Servando had clearly been standing there for a while and he'd definitely seen his ex best friend kiss his girlfriend (on the head). From the distance, Tobin couldn't be sure if he'd heard anything for not. They stared back at each for what seemed like ages before the boy walks away with blank look on his face.

Sighing to herself, the honey eyed girl gently pries the younger girl off of her. By this time it seems like she's calmed down a great deal. If she knows Alex at all, and she does (inside and out), the girl is embarrassed for crying in front of her and crying in public.

"What was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"It's about Servando. I think he knows."

Tobin's eyes widen slightly. "What do you mean you think he knows?"

"I went to his room the other day and he kicked me out after three seconds. I tried talked to him and he just wasn't in the mood. He never once even looked at me. And as I was leaving he told me he needed a few days to himself."

"B-but that doesn't mean he knows anything."

"He never told me anything...it was just the _look_ in his eyes. You had to have seen it."

"...I think I just did."

 

 

 


End file.
